Ummm, Going Forward, You’ll be Hearing This

There is a phrase sweeping the nation which is the latest example of corporate-speak infiltrating our daily discourse and providing no value whatsoever. The phrase? “Going Forward.”

How is it used? Every once in a while, it is used to mean “in the future” – and this is perhaps the usage which can be tolerated. Often, when people say “In the future” they are trying to teach a lesson, and the phrase points out that such a lesson is forthcoming, so pay attention. For example, “In the future, we must be more careful not to drop our brother down the well.” Notice that one could insert “Going forward” into that sentence with similar effect. Notice also, however, that neither phrase actually provides any other value. “We must be more careful not to drop our brother down the well” already contains the information that we are talking about a future event. Saying that we must be more careful “in the future” or “going forward” is redundant. Clearly, we are not going to be more careful in the past.

As it is most commonly used, however, “going forward” provides even less. Consider a typical comment from a corporate executive. “We need to work hard, going forward, if we are going to improve our profit picture.” Forget, for a moment about the use of “picture” in the sentence -- What does “going forward” mean in this context?

It means “Ummmm.”

The whole phrase is just a way to stop talking for a second or two without actually shutting down your mouth.

Unfortunately, this is typical of verbiage from the corporate world. Whole speeches are given which purport to contain information, direction or motivation, but which are in effect a collection of vacuous phrases.

If the Universal Translator (from Star Trek – you know what I mean) really exists, and some alien is monitoring the speech of our modern business executives, what they would really be hearing is:

“Ummmmmm. We need, ummmm, better profits. Ummmmm. It’s not my fault. Ummmm. Thank you.”

Oh, I forgot. From the typical executive, the “thank you” doesn’t mean anything either.

Make that “Ummmm.”


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Initially posted on my old blog, which is so, so, so slow to serve -- don't bother looking!