Sweeping along the river

It's no wonder that people down through the ages have metaphorically described time as a river.

For the past several weeks, I've been floating down the river in a raft with my family, keenly aware that a series of rapids, ending at a waterfall lay before me. At some points, the current was fast, and there were a few eddies and river rocks in the way to distract my attention from the impending fall, but in the last few hours before the wedding, we were floating on almost calm water, being drawn slowly towards the edge.

And then, all of a sudden, it was 1:00 PM on June 21, and the ride began. Whoosh, to the park for pictures. Rush, to the church for more. Quick greetings to arriving guests, as we all tried to catch our breath.

Then, a moment of calm, as the ceremony occurred. Beauty and peace, commitment and song; these gave us the energy for the rest of the day and night. A small still pool before the pull of time led us to the next set of rapids.

It was quite a ride. I don't think things could have gone more according to plan. The weather was wonderful. The wedding party was happy, and didn't seem rushed. The music and slide show went well, and were appreciated. The toasts were excellent. The food was good, and not too filling, so we could enjoy an evening of dancing and people-watching and conversation.

By the time the evening was over, we were all tired, but happy -- and amazed that the time had flown by so quickly.

The next morning, we sat in our raft, having survived the thrilling ride over the falls; wet, tired and happy to have been thoroughly drenched in the experience.

And now, next to us on the river, a new raft is floating. Adam & Marisa will take a side trip or two, in channels all their own, but they'll join up with us frequently as they continue down the river of time we share.

Congratulations, you two. Enjoy the ride.




[Originally posted June 23, 2008 in Snippets and Wisps.  Happy Anniversary, Adam and Marisa.]

Thankful For and Thankful To

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope this holiday finds you well, and that you are able to spend it with family or friends or both. Today's blog is a little essay I wanted to write about the meaning of "thanksgiving." If you don't feel like a Small Sermon today, feel free to stop reading and go enjoy your day. You deserve it!

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Thanksgiving is a special holiday. Though we are taught to be thankful all year round, having a day set aside for feeling thankful helps focus our gratitude.

Of course, it has become "Turkey Day" to some, and "Football Day" to others, but in general, with families & friends gathering together, many people do still focus on the thankfulness.

Interestingly, though, at Thanksgiving, people primarily talk about the things they are thankful FOR. This, of course, is perfectly natural. To feel thankful, people need to feel they have received something for which they can give thanks.

For me, there are too many blessings to count and list, but I would certainly start here:


I am so thankful for my family. Words cannot express it. Though I try. I am also thankful for the friends I have, especially for those who think about me frequently, providing me company when I laugh, care when I need it, and conversation - in person or over the network. I am thankful for my work, for my home, and for the beautiful world in which we live.

But I am not done with this Thanksgiving message. I want to continue on to discuss the full meaning of giving thanks.

Here is the first definition of "Thank" from from Dictionary.com:

thank

–verb (used with object)

1.to express gratitude, appreciation, or acknowledgment to: She thanked them for their hospitality.

And for good measure, the definition of "Thanks" from the same source:

thanks (θæŋks)
—pl n
1.	an expression of appreciation or gratitude or an acknowledgment of services or favours given

In both of these definitions, there is a clear message which is glossed over by many, but it is worth considering. The definitions make it clear there is someone who is thankful, and someone who is receiving the thanks, because the latter did something for the former.

So, if you are thankful, who are you thankful TO?

Yes, I am thankful to the people in my life who make my life so blessed. And if that's as far as you go in your faith, then be sure to thank the people in your life on Thanksgiving. For, just as a secular Christmas is to be more about giving than receiving, a secular Thanksgiving should be about being thankful, and to be thankful, there must be someone who deserves our thanks. With that in mind, look around at all those people who have made your life better, and express your appreciation and gratitude as you celebrate your Thanksgiving.

To carry the message a bit further, people of faith should pause to recognize that what we have been given, the materials and relationships for which we are thankful, are not merely gifts from people, but gifts from God. The original Pilgrims were not thanking one another. They were thanking God.

If you explain to a child the concept of Thanksgiving -- that we are grateful for the many things around us -- and ask them to list those things, they will often lists parts of nature. The sun, the air, the water.

If a person has no faith in a creator, then there really is no one to thank for these things. Such a person can feel lucky to have them, and they should, but they cannot truly be thankful, because they have no one to thank.

But for people who believe in a God, today is the day to thank God, as the true source for all of these blessings. Even the blessings which appear to have come from people are truly an expression of God's love towards us. And for this, thanks are appropriate, and a form of blessing in themselves.

Lord God, Creator of all, Source of Love and Blessings, on this day of Thanksgiving, we thank you, above all, for the gift of life and for the gifts we receive in life. We especially thank you for the people in our lives who show us love and kindness. For these, and for all, we are truly Thankful. Amen.

A happy and blessed Thanksgiving to you all.






[Originally posted in Snippets& Wisps on November 25, 2010.]

"Find What You're Looking For" - Wisdom from Amy Grant

 Amy Grant's most recent album, Somewhere Down the Road, contains a song called "Find What You're Looking For."

Like so many great songs, its lyrics speak to us in layers.  I think about part of the lyrics very often these days:

• There’s so much good in the worst of us 

• So much bad in the best of us 

• It never makes sense for any of us 

• To criticize the rest of us

Honestly, isn't that enough?  Couldn't we just stop there and have a lesson to ponder, to internalize, to commit to?

We demonize those who do not agree with us, but each of them is someone's child.  Someone loves each of us, or did.  And each of us loves someone, or did.  And only the psychopathic among us -- and there are very few of these, despite the cynical humor the guilty will use -- only the psychopathic try to do evil, knowing it to be evil. The rest of us try to live within a moral code.  And yet, all of us get it wrong, at least sometimes.

Yes, that lesson is plenty for one song.

But she doesn't stop there.

• We’ll just find what we’re looking for 

• We’ll find it and so much more

This is so true.  If you think you will find something in my actions, in my words, you have a tendency to find it.  We don't listen to one another.  We can, but we often don't.  And then we demonize.  Oh, and if we look, we can find mistakes people have made, and then demonize them some more, because they have made the mistake.  Yet, as the song says:

• Haven’t we all learned the best life lessons 

• By falling, and falling down hard 

• If we’re looking for somebody’s failures 

• We won’t have to look very far

 And that, too, is so true.

John 8:7:

⁷When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
Lyrics, and background quote from Amy, taken from here.


[Originally posted in Snippets & Wisps on March 3, 2011.]

"What Does a Teacher Make?"- Video

Back from vacation, and one of the things I happened upon (from one of the blogs I follow) is this wonderful piece by Taylor Mali on "What Does a Teacher Make?"  I shared this on Facebook yesterday, but it deserves a more permanent and prominent place in my recorded thoughts.

It is a stark contrast to the recent attacks on teachers and what they are "worth" to our society.


I was at dinner a few weeks back, and the Wisconsin protests were just a few days old. A couple of my dinner partners -- who almost certainly received salaries and benefits far above those of an average teacher -- were talking about how easy teachers have it.  They -- the opinionators speaking -- would be glad to have that job, for that pay, for that "little work."

Sorry guys, you could not handle it. Honestly. And if you tried, I would be sorry for your students. Our students deserve people who want to do the work, who treat it as a vocation or a calling, not people who think it is easy work for the money.

This should not be political, folks. All but a tiny percentage of us were taught by teachers. A good teacher -- and there are millions -- does a good job, and the result is well-educated young people. A great teacher -- and there are many of these, too -- I'd venture more than one per school of most any size -- does a great job, and the result is a set of inspired students who do more than anyone would have thought possible, and who will grow up grateful to what those teachers did.

If I tried to list all of the teachers who inspired me over the years, I might give offense by leaving someone off the list -- and it would be unintentional, but understandable, because I have had so many.  But here is a list anyway.

• The elementary teacher whose name escapes me, but who introduced me to Tolkien by reading us "The Hobbit"
• Mrs. Hacker
• Mr. Gesme
• Mr. Evelsizer 
• Mr. Eittreim
• Mrs. Hein
• Ms. Olson
• Mr. Sexter
• Steve Hubbard
• Diane Scholl
• Ed Kaschins
• Weston Noble
• Leigh Jordahl
• Richard Simon Hanson
• John Bale
• Walt Will

These people, by their dedication to their students, and their skill in the art of teaching, challenged me, pushed me to do more than coast.  They taught me to question, to research, to create, to write, to revise, to analyze, to think.  They opened my eyes to subjects and ideas which lit my imagination on fire.  Would I have discovered the joy of singing choral music without Mr. Sexter?  The thrill of performing on stage without Ms. Olson?  The reasons Shakespeare's work was special without Dr. Bale?  How Economics could be interesting and understandable without Ed Kaschins?

The Paideia class taught by Dr. Scholl helped Sherry and me as we grew to know one another better just before our marriage. The class on Christian Humanism as taught by Dr. Jordahl helped clarify for me the kind of faith which still makes most sense to my heart and head -- and he simply loved having a married couple in his class.

And while it is clear my mind was primed for mathematics & the sciences, many of the teachers above found ways to encourage me to rise above the expectations of the ordinary syllabus, to learn things I could learn, and to help others learn them when I could.  I wanted to be a teacher because of Mrs. Hacker and my dad.  I learned to love and appreciate math and science because of them and the rest of the math and science teachers on that list, and others I omitted while trying to finish this in less than an evening.

To evaluate these people by how much money they make, or to think you can put a price on what their jobs are worth?  It can't be done.  These people, and the work they have done, are priceless.


[Originally posted in Snippets & Wisps March 21, 2011.]

What are your Stilts?

The late, great Theodore Geisel (nom de plume: Dr. Seuss) wrote many excellent stories. This is not news. Many of them are allegorical, or at the very least, metaphorical. One of his lesser-known books serves me as an example of how I like to run my work life, as well as my leisure life. That book is The King's Stilts.

In this book, the King has a great work ethic. He gets up early, starts working, and "When he worked, he worked very, very hard." And he works very, very hard, all day, every day -- until quitting time.

At quitting time, he stops working, and he plays. And "When he played, he played very, very hard." And what does he play with? The King's Stilts, of course.

I think I need to build a motivational speech out of the many lessons this book can teach. In our culture, there seems to be an unwritten rule that, to be truly successful, you must devote yourself to your job and forsake fun -- or even outside responsibilities.

I think that some people can be that single-minded. But most of us need balance. And part of that balance is finding our "stilts" and playing with them regularly.

Like any good story, The King's Stilts has conflict. It centers around what happens when the King is convinced to give up his stilts. I will not spoil it for those who have not read the story, but beleive me, a King without his Stilts is not as good at his job.

I have several diversions, each of which provides me with something I need to be well-rounded and productive. I have games, like Magic, which challenges my mind. I have running, which keeps me fit, and gives me time to appreciate the outdoors. I have my DVD habit, which allows me to escape into someone else's imagination, while sharing time and experience with my family. I have fantasy football, which allows me to participate in a game I've always liked, but in a more strategic way -- and it's a common experience for my father and brother and myself. There are more, but the point is the same -- each of the activities refreshes me and builds me up so that I can go back to my job and work very, very hard.

What are your "stilts"? Do you view them as guilty pleasures? Or are they an acknowledged, welcomed part of your life?

In my view, they are blessings. Count them. Appreciate them. Enjoy them, Very, very hard.

................................

Originally published under the title "The King's Stilts" on September 8, 2004.

Toast for Sarah and Troy

Welcome to the celebration of the wedding of Troy and Sarah. I'm Steve Will, the father of the bride. Most of you know this is the third wedding toast I've had the pleasure to give over the past year or so. My son Adam got married last June, and my other son, Lucas, got married in October. So you might think I would run out of things to say. It happens, however, that I've known for a long time what I'd say for the wedding toast for my daughter, Sarah. So, here it is.

{Pause}

"Once upon a time, there was a Princess, named Sarah."

When my children were young, before Leah was even born, in fact, I started telling them "Princess Sarah" stories. I made them up, usually as bedtime stories, over the course of several years.

Princess Sarah's life was somewhat different from our Sarah's, but it was also quite similar. Princess Sarah lived in a castle; our Sarah took walks with her family to "The Castle" nearby -- the name we gave to Kellogg Middle School to make our strolls more fanciful. Our Sarah, of course had two older brothers, Adam & Lucas. Princess Sarah had a younger brother -- his name was "Adam, or Lucas; whatever." Sometimes, it was "Lucas, or Adam; whatever." I could never choose. And when Sarah faced situations in her life, she did so with cleverness, courage and a caring heart. That was the same for each Sarah; Princess and Sarah Lynn.

I loved telling those stories. The kids loved hearing them.

But in those stories, Princess Sarah never grew up. She had adventures with her siblings (eventually, I'm sure there was a Princess Leah who joined the family) and her horse Graymane and her elf friend, Pip. But she was, forever, a child.

Why?

I think it had something to do with the inevitable course a Princess story must take.

A Princess must find her Prince.

When Sarah was three-or-four years old, I could not imagine a Prince who would be worthy of that Princess.

We are all here today, of course, because she found him. She brought a new character into her story. I couldn't be happier for her, and for them.

So I would ask all of you to raise your glasses and join me in a toast to Princess Sarah and her prince, Troy. We hope that they will live

Happily Ever After.

Get a Clue

For our 15th anniversary, Sherry and I hosted a party at the Plummer House. That party's theme was a game of "Clue." But, rather than use the traditional rooms, we used the rooms in the Plummer House, replacing the usual suspects from the game were some of our guests, and in place of the typical weapons, we used some interesting variants. I thought I'd share a few of them today.

The Sword

The Crowbar

The Croquet Mallet

And, finally, my favorite:

The Steamroller

Please note, that this was all in fun, and that no children were harmed during the production of these photos.

In fact, they all had a blast!

[What inspired me to post these? Indie's site of "found" photos and the stories that go with them. Well, and thinking back on our anniversary party last year got me thinking of the earlier one. It was such fun!]

Originally published August 6, 2008.

The 7 Last Words -1: Why Have You Forsaken Me?

Matthew 27:46 (New International Version)

46About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

I have just finished listening to "Jesus Christ Superstar" again. Of the famous Seven Last Words, this one is used in the script as the second of three things Jesus says during the Crucifixion. (The JCS line is "My God, my God, why have you forgotten me?") As I heard it, I was reminded how my understanding and appreciation of this moment in Christ's life has changed and grown over time, and how Bible Study was such an important part of that growth.

When I was a teenager and first saw the film, it might well have been the first time I paid any attention to the Last Words. At that time, I took it as performed by Ted Neely - the frustrated lament of someone who truly believed he had been forgotten. Now, I see this "word" much differently, and that's because of studying that I've done and help from other knowledgeable people.

The fact that the verse itself contains the Aramaic helps us discover a few key points, and they are all related to a simple fact: Jesus is quoting the first verse of Psalm 22. Why does he do this? Is it because he is actually feeling forsaken? I don't think so; I think he's trying to point out a few things.

First, Psalm 22 is a psalm containing messianic prophecy. At our Maundy Thursday services at church, we always close the service by speaking this psalm as the paraments are removed from the altar and the pastor changes from normal vestments to all-black. We have learned, over the years, that this psalm teaches us what will happen to Jesus and what will happen because of him. The psalm tells us that the Messiah will be scorned (v.6) mocked and insulted (v.7). People will say that God should rescue him, since he trusted God so much (v.8 and fulfilled in Matthew 27:43). His hands and feet will be pierced (v.16). People will gamble to see who gets his clothing (v.18). And yet, the second half of the psalm tells of the joy that will come to God's people and the victory that will be won by the Savior He sends.

By speaking the first line of this psalm, Jesus is pointing out to those around him -- and to us today -- that the first part of the prophecy is being fulfilled, and by extension He is promising the second part is soon to come.

Second, Jesus continues to act in his role as "'Rabbi' (which means teacher)" (John 1:38) In order to instruct the young, rabbis would teach their students to memorize the scriptures, and to test their memory, he would speak the opening of a passage and expect them to recite the rest. And so, by speaking these first words, Jesus is a teacher to the end, as he provides comfort and enlightenment.

Third, what he wanted to teach is the importance of the entirety of the psalm, not merely the first part. And yet, Jesus did not speak the whole psalm - He started it. This is a key point. We are responsible for learning and understanding God's will and actions, and acting on them. We are to finish it. We are to learn its meaning. Then we are to accept the resulting grace.

Now, could Jesus have actually been feeling forsaken? I guess it depends on whether such a feeling would be sinful or not. As a human, he would certainly be "normal" if he felt alone as he neared his death. Somehow, I doubt it, because I'd interpret that as a loss of faith, and that is sin, and I believe Jesus was the "spotless Lamb" - without sin. Yet I could understand an interpretation that disagrees with me.

Whether he truly felt forsaken or not, the crucial lessons for us to learn from this "Last Word" are connected to the meaning of Psalm 22. Without Bible Study, I would have never known this, and so I am truly thankful to have been given that gift.

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Originally posted April 17, 2008

Beliefs, Morals and Science

Today, Grand Theft Auto 4 is released. With it, we're going to hear and read more people using supposed "science" to support their beliefs that violent video games such as GTA are bad influences on people, especially the young.

The simple truth, according to this MPR blog entry, is that the scientific link does not exist. The entry cites research by the co-directors of the Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health and Media, who, in this article, examine the claims made by the group "Save the Children" that "children are struggling to make friends at school because they spend too long playing computer games." The Harvard researchers also look at the same data used by "Save the Children" and others to support claims of the supposedly clear "cause and effect" relationship of violent video games and various negative situations, and this is what they (the Harvard researchers) say:

"The real puzzle is that anyone looking at the research evidence in this field could draw any conclusions about the pattern, let alone argue with such confidence and even passion that it demonstrates the harm of violence on television, in film and in video games."

My point today is not that these games are good for young people, or any people, in fact. I'm also not saying the games are bad for them. My point is that I'm troubled that people who oppose these games distort science and the data collected through scientific means in order to support what is really a moral argument.

The "hero" of the GTA games does things which, in the real world, are wrong. They are illegal. They are often violent. It may seem natural to assume that a person who likes playing this game would learn something from them and act in illegal or immoral or violent ways more readily than others, but the data does not show that.

If a person objects to filling one's mind with images that are wrong (immoral (sinful)) because one should try to focus on things that are right (moral (God-pleasing)) then that's understandable. But it's an expression of morality, and ultimately of faith.

Clergy of most any faith will espouse the view that your limited time on earth is better spent focused on Good than Not Good. But if a person is going to claim a causal relationship between Not Good images and Not Good behavior, then it is merely a belief unless it is backed up by scientific data. Distorting the data to claim support for a position is Lying, and Lying is Not Good.

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Originally posted April 29, 2008.

Shazam! The Innocence of Good and Evil

In my youth, I read comic books. There are certain issues that remain vivid in my memory. When I think of Superman, for example, I think of a particular story in which Superman faced an opponent who was a thinly-veiled copy of Captain Marvel, the one who said "Shazam!" long before Gomer Pyle ever did.

In those days, the DC Comics style centered on clearly defined good and evil. The issue was probably memorable because the ersatz Marvel was treated as a villain for most of the issue, but he was revealed to be a good guy at some point (though I think Kal-El and he still didn't like each other by the time) and that was quite unusual for a DC Comics story.

The clear cut nature of good and evil was less popular to the comic-buying public than the more complex and ambiguous plots of Marvel Comics, in which flawed heroes struggled against villains who often could blame sources in their environment for their troubles and their powers, gaining some level of sympathy from readers. I certainly found the "Marvel way" more consistently interesting, and I owned three times as many Marvel as DC books.

Yet, there was a beauty in the pure good vs. evil stories found in Superman and Batman and their cohorts. Today, I miss that simplicity. We hear news from around the world and there are so few clear answers. Saddam Hussein was a bad guy; there's little doubt. Yet, in the nascent democracy being nurtured in Iraq, there appear to be few "good guys." Sectarian distrust, prejudice and hate are putting peace at risk, and as much as the "regular people" in Iraq want peace, many cannot fathom how it will come about because of that distrust, prejudice and hate directed at the other "regular people" who have religious and/or cultural differences.

To me, the problem with Bush politics is the desire to characterize the complexity of the world in ways that make "black" and "white" the only answers. And, honestly, while I think of it as a Rove-inspired Republican problem, the Democrats seem to be picking up the same attitude. Nevertheless, it's Bush and his policies that have put us in this situation, and he still does not seem willing to admit that shades of good and evil exist, and that the "gray" includes some questionable decisions on the part of his team.

I'm finding it hard to fault every lawmaker who ever voted for this war. When I remember what was going on in post-9/11 America, as we searched (seemingly fruitlessly) for Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan, it was so tempting to believe that another leader in the Middle East was planning grave harm against us and our allies. And we knew where Saddam was! It was clear. We had to stop him. I never had the level of information that the senators did, so I hoped they were hearing the truth and doing their best to think clearly, but I can see being seduced by the simplicity, especially when the facts were so carefully prepared and presented.

Now, however, it's time to own up to the reality of the world; it's not simple. The "war" against Iraq was "won" but the peace cannot be won -- it must be managed. We need to move beyond military thinking to diplomacy. I want to hear the candidates talk about that. I want to stop hearing about time-lines for withdrawal from Obama and Clinton, and I want to stop hearing about how The Surge worked from McCain. What's next? How do we proceed? Why should I believe you can help peace have its best chance?

And don't think you can just pretend to be Superman. We might want a hero, but what we need is a real-world leader.


[Originally posted on March 24, 2008.]

Arlo & Janis

If you look along the side of my blog, you will see a set of links for Comic Strip sites. At the top of the list is the link to Jimmy Johnson's "Arlo & Janis" website.

I read a lot of comic strips. I'll give most anything a try. A&J is my favorite, among a decent-sized list of excellent current strips.

Why? Well, there are many reasons, but the one which prompted me to write today is this: the wonderful depiction of A&J's romantic life.

I know it's not unique among strips to show married couples who like each other. Hi & Lois, Blondie & Dagwood, Moose & Molly, Sally & Ted (Forth) -- clearly those couples get along well. But of those other strips, how many even hint at a "love life?" The Forths do, every once in a great while. Now and again, a few other strips will touch on it.

In A&J it's a recurring theme, though not an overpowering one. Arlo clearly finds Janis attractive, and shows it. Janis reciprocates. Since the primary interactions that drive the strip are those between this married couple, it's just so "honest" to see the "love life" aspect come up occasionally. And it's always in character with the fun, funny, intelligent, flawed, good-hearted people they are.

If you follow the link to the A&J page today, you can click on the strip to see part of a series in this vein. Every strip is funny, but every strip is real. (If you follow the link some other time, well, who knows what you'll get. Jimmy posts old strips on a regular basis.) Here's a link to the beginning of the short series, if you want it later (I hope it stays active, even after the imminent redesign of the site.)

(Originally posted on November 1, 2007.)

Toast

On Saturday, August 11, we held our 25th Anniversary party. It was a delightful time. Most of our extended family was able to join us, and several extended-extended family members came as well. We also had significant representation from our college friends, church friends, and buddies -- and that was really great. I think everyone who came had someone to chat with, when they couldn't be chatting with us.

I wrote a toast for the event, and delivered it at around 7:00. The remainder of this entry will be that toast. If you know us, and you were not at the party, feel free to read it. It was heartfelt.

--------------------------------------------------------

We’ve been looking forward to this landmark, this 25^th anniversary year, for a long time. And we’ve been looking forward to this party, this celebration, with all of you, since – well, since Sherry came up with the idea – but certainly for the past several months. I’m glad you could be with us.

You all know me pretty well, so you are probably not surprised that one of the things I wanted to do at this event was to give a toast. You see, I love to speak, but when we first got married, I didn’t realize that the wedding traditions included toasts. You see, we were pretty young. Considering Adam is 23 now, I guess I must have been what - 11 years old? Certainly Sherry couldn’t have been more than eight!

Anyway, here I had had a captive audience, a perfect opportunity to give a speech, and I let it pass without saying anything more than an “I Do.” In the end, of course, that was all I needed to say. And without a doubt, I’m exceptionally glad I said it! But if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to say a little more this time.

When I started thinking about what to put in this toast, I realized I had three topics I wanted to cover: Love, Marriage, and Sherry. For me, of course, they are all related. And for this particular toast, I think they’re all important.

First, let’s talk about Love. At a lot of weddings, here’s what you often hear about Love (from 1 Corinthians 13)

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

It’s hard to improve on that. As I was thinking about it, especially in the context of marriage, my marriage, our marriage, I thought about another way to look at Love. Love is patient and kind, for sure, but it’s also Alive. It has characteristics that make it clear that Love, real Love, is living. All those aspects of love in the verses I read make Love sound alove, but it’s easy to see why. First of all, it Grows. It’s almost trite to say, but it’s true, that on the day we got married, I couldn’t imagine my love being any bigger, deeper or stronger than it was that day. Yet it’s also clearly true that it has grown over time, like a living thing that grows from baby to child to adult; bigger, stronger, wiser. Love is also Alive because it reproduces. It makes new love relationships when children are born, and it causes other love relationships to form, as the people who are loved by the wife become loved by the husband, and vice versa. And, like a living thing, Love sustains and nurtures, helping people live through, or thrive in, circumstances that would be difficult or impossible without it.

Love. The Love we celebrate today has certainly done all those things for me, and for Sherry. It’s Alive.

What about Marriage? What do I want to say about that? For many of you in attendance, you know this stuff, whether you’d say it this way or not, because you’re in a good marriage. But I have an opportunity to talk to my children now, and, with any luck, they won’t interrupt me, since we’re not at the dinner table.

You’ve grown up in the environment of a good marriage, but the culture around you often trivializes marriage, makes it an after-thought, the somewhat natural progression of a romance, as if it just sort of happens. This is not the case. You’ve gotten tired of hearing us say that it requires work, so I won’t talk about that. Instead I’ll talk about ingredients that I hope you’ve seen in our marriage, and that you will be able to bring into yours, whenever they happen.

The first is Commitment and Constancy. Though they are often said in a kind of rote, mechanical, scripted way, the vows that are part of the marriage sacrament are all about commitment and constancy. Life is full of changes, highs, lows, happiness and worry. During the bad times, it’s important to know that the person you’re married to is committed to you. I know, without asking, that your mom is there to support me when I’m having a tough time. And I know that, no matter how tough a time I am having, I will be there for her when she needs me, whether we’re happy with each other or not. It’s a promise I made, a commitment, a covenant. Just as important, I am there for her, and she is there for me during the good times! People so often overlook this! I know that when I have good news, Sherry will be there to celebrate. And I know that my good news is not mine alone – I can’t hoard it selfishly – it belongs to her, too.

The second aspect of our marriage I hope you can have is Trust and Respect. This certainly includes trusting your mom to follow through on promises, and to not do things to harm me, but those are just the tip of the iceberg. I trust her to back me up, even when she doesn’t completely agree with me, and she can trust me to do the same for her. This is very big when you’re a parent. I doubt any married couple ever existed who both wanted to raise kids exactly the same way; your mom and I certainly have had different ideas from one another, but we respect each other. I trust, without any doubt at all, that the decisions she makes are with the best intentions. She respects my judgment, and I hers. We are truly partners, and we don’t ever have to worry about whether the other one respects us, because we constantly demonstrate it, and when we’re apart, we trust implicitly that the respect continues.

But of course, the final aspect I will mention is Love and Faith. I’ve already talked about it before, so let me just say this. I once heard that the greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. Kids, if that’s true, it hasn’t been hard to give you that gift. I am confident that you’ve seen the love in both directions. And, obviously, being in our home all these years, you know that our Faith and our Love are inextricably linked.

Twenty-five years in this wonderful marriage, and the rest of our lives to come, it’s that constant commitment, trusting respect, and faithful love that sustain us.

And finally, I could not give this toast without talking about my wonderful wife, Sherry. After twenty-five years, it’s impossible to explain all the reasons I love her so much. Fortunately for all of you, I’ve built this toast around threes – three topics, three aspects of each – so I will talk about three things that make Sherry perfect for me.

First of all, she is different from me, but in ways that complement me. I am even-keeled; she is high and low. Without her, I could not have enjoyed life as fully as I have, because she has such high highs! And when she is in a Low Low, I know she can use my help finding her way back up. When I would just sit in an airport in Oahu for hours, waiting for our delayed plane to finally take off, she persuades me to go out and DO something, so we get to see Waikiki. Oh, and let’s never forget – she always wanted four kids, whereas I entered the marriage figuring on three. I suspect everyone here is glad she was able to “complement” me in that way! Hurray for Leah!

Secondly, though we are definitely different, Sherry is very much like me, in some ways. I can’t tell you how often we’ve marveled at how great it is that we both like Star Trek, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Babylon 5, Lord of the Rings, and Ender’s Game. And I know from many friendships with many men that I am truly blessed to have a wife who likes to – gasp – watch me – wait for it! – play video games! Folks, these are the kinds of things you will not get with eHarmony.com. There has to be divine intervention involved!

And finally, Sherry is loving, and willing to be loved. She gives of herself, she reaches out to people who others would ignore, and she still has plenty of love to give to her family, and always to me. And she’s appreciative of the ways I show her my love; the words I say, the cards I send – though they might be less frequent than the every-Monday pattern I started while we were dating – the gifts I give, the calls I make. She loves me, she shows her love to me and to others, and she makes it easy to love her in return.

She’s different, in exactly the right way. She’s similar, in exactly the right way. And I love her, exactly as I was meant to.

That passage in 1 Corinthians ends like this:

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

And so, my friends, my family, loved ones all, thank you again for joining us in this celebration of love. Let’s lift our glasses and toast, to Sherry, to Marriage, and to the greatest of these – To Love!


_______________________________
Originally published August 13, 2007.

Great Games in the Modern World

Thursday night, two of my friends and I played Diablo II and had a great time! We'll probably spend a good portion of our lunch hour today discussing our exploits. One of the amazing things about this experience is that Diablo II came out in 2000! ^[1] After almost seven years, the game holds almost all the thrills it had initially (it's only missing the "freshness" aspect.)

This got me to thinking about what it takes for a game to be "great" in our modern era. I think it comes down to a few attributes, and a game can be missing one of these and probably still be great.

1. Individualization.
2. Replay value.
3. Multiple goals.
   
4. Well disguised complexity.
5. Freshness.
6. Longevity.

To read the complete blog entry, click here. And for its follow-up entry, click here.

[Originally published 7/6/07]

Random Snippet

Every once in a while, my mind wants to produce a snippet -- a short piece of fiction which typically captures a mood. Today, this came tumbling out through my keyboard:



The tumbler rolled himself, a brightly colored ball of human contortion, from across the room. Directly in front of me, he sprang to his feet, a living jack-in-the-box, hands extended in upturned fists. I gazed at him quizzically; his lidless eyes and his forced smile were accentuated by his face paint, both threatening and tempting me. A slow tilted incline of his head urged me to look at his hands. I did. The left opened, slowly, to reveal the remains of a large spider, crushed, sticky and sweaty. As the fingers of the right hand began to loosen, I realized what must be inside. I turned; I ran; I screamed.

I don't think I made it to the door before I died.



Don't worry, not every snippet is quite so dark.

Have a great weekend.

[Originally published 7/13/07]

What Really Matters

Once again, on the way to work this morning, I heard the latest gossip about Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. Uck. Who cares?

Then, scanning through the on-line news outlets, I see these articles:
Colleges need education about pregnant athletes
What does a health crisis look like? See Houston

These are things that really matter. But our favorite news outlets, and entertainment sources, responding to our desire to read fluff and pick the scabs of the famous, give us pablum.

Though my blog is not intended for examining news stories most of the time, I figured I would follow up with a few links and comments on one of these stories. Health Care is too big. I'll deal with pregnant athletes.

[To read the rest of the entry, from June 19, 2007, click here.]

The Time of My Life - Perspective #1

[Original Post 8/20/04]

Time.

"Now" is the only time. But it's already gone.

I have often thought about time. And when I typed the title "The Time of My Life" I realized I would have to differentiate this set of thoughts from others. (I also realized I can't think of that phrase without thinking of "Dirty Dancing" but that's a topic for another time.)

We humans seem to have trouble with this particular aspect of time: we only have a limited supply of it, and once any part of it is gone, it is irretrievable. It is past, in two senses of the word.

So when we spend our time doing anything -- and I mean anything -- have we given any thought to what we will wish we had done with that time, once our time grows short?

Right at this moment, when I am writing this, I am deciding not to do other things. Will I wish, tomorrow or next week or next year or when I'm 64, wish I had done something else with the time it took to write this?

Let's quantify it monetarily. In the time it takes to write this blog, I could go out to a brokerage site and buy 100 shares of some stock. A year from now, that stock will have done something. Because I spent time writing this, I did not get the gain, or take the loss, from that stock.

I have 400 pages of stories to read in "The Year's Best Science Fiction: 2003." I could pick up "Frankenstein" instead and try to get through it. Or I could go back to read "The Stand" again, which has been tempting since I saw the mini-series again recently. But I can't do all three at the same time. And once I've done any of them, will I wish I had been outside enjoying the natural world, or pushing myself to get in shape, or talking to my children -- will I wish any of these things when I'm 64? (Yes, another song.)

Oh, sure, I could talk about "consequences" -- because "How" I spend my time certainly relates to the consequences of that "How." But the existential consequence is that I did not spend the time doing something else.

"Carpe Diem" is not just a motivational tool. It is an exhortation to realize that a mortal only has Now. Make a conscious choice to use your time, because you only get one chance. It isn't "gusto" you have to grab, necessarily. But there is something out there to be seized today. Take a moment. Think about what that "something" is, for you. Then Seize it!

Need a Good Cry? I Certainly Did.

[Original Post 8/27/04]

This week, I listened to a song, and it brought tears to my eyes. I was not surprised. I am almost always brought to tears listening to "Hope for Resolution" ⁽¹⁾ from the album
"Christmas at Luther". ⁽²⁾ What I did not expect was how much better the tears made me feel.

I have had a stressful week. This is the sort of stress which causes one to get grouchy, say things one later regrets and then agonizes over, causing stress to heap upon itself. Once I started looking at why crying was making me feel better, I realized that I had not yet internalized the remorse I wanted to feel about the way I had treated others. I had also not given myself permission to feel bad about how I had been mistreated, and about the unfairness of life in the corporate world. And so, when I heard this piece of music, and the tears welled up, as they typically do, those little droplets did double or triple duty. They expressed my feelings about the music, but they washed the stress of unrealized sorrow away, as well.

This experience was an epiphany of sorts. I realized that a good cry, or at least a few well timed tears, could help me deal with stress. And I need as many stress reduction tools as I can
get. We all do, don't we?

Now, I am not the typical old fashioned male who thinks "Men don't (or shouldn't) cry." I have cried on occasion. My life is pretty good, so I don't have many reasons to cry -- at least not with tears of sorrow. And, truth be told, things do not affect me emotionally as much as they
affect others. So, I have not experienced the cathartic nature of tears as often as some people have. As I thought about the "Hope for Resolution" experience, then, I said to myself "Perhaps this 'discovery' was more personal than I first realized."

You see, what seemed strange was that the "Hope for Resolution" tears were not really tears of sorrow, yet they clearly helped me deal with sadness. "Hope for Resolution" is the final piece which was done in the Yuletide program, an annual Christmas concert at Luther
featuring all of its classical music ensembles, in 2002. That year, my oldest son, Adam, was a member of one of the choirs. Now, the piece of music itself is powerful and moving; perhaps on its own, it might bring some people to tears. For me, the musical beauty mixed with pride, nostalgia and love to create a powerful memory. I was so proud to see Adam standing up in the choir loft, clothed in his tux, smiling and singing. I felt nostalgic for my days in Luther choirs, and for the days when Adam was just a boy, not a young man. And, of course, the love I feel for Luther College is quite strong, but small compared to the love I feel for Adam, and for the three children I have yet to send there.

I associated tears with grief, or remorse, but here I was crying with joy and love. Yet the "good feeling" tears helped wash away the stress of the "bad feelings" which were weighing me down. I resolved to make a conscious effort to discover, and treasure, experiences like this.

And so, today, I am thankful. Thankful for the piece of music, for the men and women who performed it, for the people and God who inspired it, and especially for Adam and my children, who added so much to its meaning for my life.


==========================================


⁽¹⁾ The piece "Hope for Resolution" was composed by
Sean Ivory and Paul Caldwell. It has a moving history, which can
be found many places on the web. Here is one of those places.

⁽²⁾ This album can be purchased from DJ Records, which has a collection of
Luther College Choir music.

The King's Stilts

[Original Post 9/8/04]

The late, great Theodore Geisel (nom de plume: Dr. Seuss) wrote many excellent stories. This is not news. Many of them are allegorical, or at the very least, metaphorical. One of his lesser-known books serves me as an example of how I like to run my work life, as well as my leisure life. That book is The King's Stilts.

In this book, the King has a great work ethic. He gets up early, starts working, and "When he worked, he worked very, very hard." And he works very, very hard, all day, every day -- until quitting time.

At quitting time, he stops working, and he plays. And "When he played, he played very, very hard." And what does he play with? The King's Stilts, of course.

I think I need to build a motivational speech out of the many lessons this book can teach. In our culture, there seems to be an unwritten rule that, to be truly successful, you must devote yourself to your job and forsake fun -- or even outside responsibilities.

I think that some people can be that single-minded. But most of us need balance. And part of that balance is finding our "stilts" and playing with them regularly.

Like any good story, The King's Stilts has conflict. It centers around what happens when the King is convinced to give up his stilts. I will not spoil it for those who have not read the story, but beleive me, a King without his Stilts is not as good at his job.

I have several diversions, each of which provides me with something I need to be well-rounded and productive. I have games, like Magic, which challenges my mind. I have running, which keeps me fit, and gives me time to appreciate the outdoors. I have my DVD habit, which allows me to escape into someone else's imagination, while sharing time and experience with my family. I have fantasy football, which allows me to participate in a game I've always liked, but in a more strategic way -- and it's a common experience for my father and brother and myself. There are more, but the point is the same -- each of the activities refreshes me and builds me up so that I can go back to my job and work very, very hard.

What are your "stilts"? Do you view them as guilty pleasures? Or are they an acknowledged, welcomed part of your life?

In my view, they are blessings. Count them. Appreciate them. Enjoy them, Very, very hard.

Hobbies, Diversions and Judgments

[Original Post 9/8/04]

An Open Letter to My Son, the College Student

And others who are learning how to form opinions

... or ought to be learning

Part of growing up is developing opinions. As we get educated, formally or informally, we base our opinions on facts. And, sometimes, we base them on "truths" which we believe are self-evident. But often, our use of those "truths" and our strict reliance on "facts" blinds us to the value judgments we are making, and the effects those judgments have on others.

The case in point: You think cosmetics are a waste of time and money, and an injustice on women.

This point of view is not hard to understand, and an idealistic college student might certainly come to it reasonably. But, son, your mother sells Mary Kay cosmetics.

So, what am I saying? Am I suggesting your opinion is wrong because it conflicts with your mother's? No. Am I saying you should withhold your opinion because it might make your mother feel bad? Not really -- though taking the feelings of others into account is part of the message. If those are not my points, what is? I'll get there. Just a minute. (Patience is also something we learn as we mature -- or ought to.)

You sing in a Praise band. Why do you do it? To worship, certainly, but WHY? What is the point of the worship, and what are the results of worshipping in that way? Getting to the mundane reasons, you would certainly agree that you enjoy it. And, I suspect, you like participating in something which other people enjoy, too. I'm not saying that the praise band is a selfish indulgence. I'm saying that when you worship this way, you and others get happiness.

Yet, many people in the world do not believe in the God you worship. And many who do cannot understand someone who would devote time to this form of worship.

Perhaps the religious example is too extreme. After all, cosmetics are not a religion. (You did realize I was drawing a parallel, didn't you?) So let's use another.

You play computer games. Why? Here, we can quickly come to the base reason -- you enjoy them. Yet you know that there are many people in the world who don't get enjoyment from those games. And, further, you know that there are people who would criticize you for "wasting" your time on them.

Now, consider: Cosmetics and fashion are a pass-time, a diversion, a hobby of sorts. From their earliest years many people, especially women in our culture, become aware of personal beauty. As they grow, they begin to take enjoyment from the process of "dressing up." By the time they are adults, or even teenagers, their satisfaction with looking nice, or changing their appearance, is a part of who they are -- just as enjoying video games is a part of who you are.

If all the time and money which is spent on cosmetics were spent on [insert a worthy cause here] would it make a positive difference? Sure. But the same could be said about the money spent on video games, sports, and all the other things you enjoy.

We, all of us, need to recognize that tolerance is not just something we should exercise with the big issues like race and culture, but also with others who just happen to enjoy different activities. Each of us has things which make us feel happy, fulfilled, thrilled, content -- yet those same things do not have the same effects on others. But those things are important. Each of us needs them. And criticizing the needs of others serves no real purpose, and antagonizes them in the process.

There are some beliefs you will have which should be stated and held to throughout your life. Now is the time to figure them out. But as you are doing your analysis, sift through those beliefs to discard the value judgments based on your own preferences. It is about this sort of bias a wise uncle of mine once said "That is a matter of personal opinion; mine differing greatly from yours." "Belief" and "Opinion": You will live a happier and more constructive life if you can distinguish between them and advocate them with the strength each deserves.

Quotes

[Original Post 9/10/04]

On the door of my office, I have a space for a name plate. I suppose this is common in office buildings. Where I work, if you have a door, you have one of these name plate holders on the door. If you don't have a door, you have a holder on the wall outside your office or cubicle.

I haven't used my name plate holder to hold my name for years and years. Instead, I have quotes.

Why? Because sometimes I think things would be better if everyone I worked with were forced to memorize a few well-chosen words of wisdom.

My kids had to memorize verses from the Bible as they grew up, going to a Lutheran School. While this seemed, at times, like a meaningless chore, I have come to appreciate its value. Most of the "memorized" verses don't stick with them, but a few do. Which ones? By and large, the ones which speak directly to them about something important in their lives. The verses might provide comfort, or promote proper behavior, or encourage thankfulness, or express love, or build faith. But whatever they do, having those verses planted firmly in the mind helps the kids in their lives, for they can recall the words and ideas whenever such thoughts are needed.

I think the same can and should be done with other material which provides wisdom. My friend, Michael, quotes Shakespeare. Some quotes are merely excellent writing, but the best ones are excellent writing and show something about the human condition. The quotes I have on my door are meant to be the same.

And so, at times, I've decided I will post a blog entry with a quote. And today's quote is a perfect introduction to the many which may follow.

"All truly wise thoughts have been thoughts already thousands of time; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe